I woke up crying

The nightmares of

Seeing you die,

Watching you bleed,

Your body broken,

Mandled,

Twisted,

Shattered,

And nothing I could do

To ever bring you back.

Watching them extract you

From a totaled car

Down Ogden Canyon.

The nightmares of

You leaving me

Telling me it was

All a game,

That I was NOTHING.

I’ve been hurt before,

But that was insignigicant

Compared to

How much you could

Hurt me.

Waking up to

A tear-soaked pillow,

Still I sobbed into it,

Wearing your jacket,

And breathing your smell.

I think it’s really love

When you miss someone

So much it makes you sick.

When one word

Could mean anyting to

Someone else, but

Everything between you and your love.

And when you’re gone,

The colors seem just as bright,

The world just as sunny,

The sky as blue and

The night as full of stars.

No… when you’re gone

Those things just don’t

Seem special anymore.

Everything I know has gone flat,

Like champagne without bubbles.

And it’s not the

Nothingness I feel,

But the complete lack of ANYTHING

To fight for.

Fourteen months of

Loving you, so much

It made me cry, so much

I had to force myself to think

About ANYONE else

Because I never thought I could have you.

Fourteen months of hoping

That I can be

Everything that you need.

In two months you’ll be home

And you can be with me.

If I had to,

I’d wait years to wake up

To you again.

And it wouldn’t hurt too much

To have my heart broken by you

If it meant that I

Had once held yours.