Nia's Soliloquy

Location

Philadelphia, PA
United States

My mother once told me,
that rain remains the same
no matter where you go,
so I often wonder how it feels
falling asleep to you,
listening to the music
the drops make against
your window.

I know it sounds weird,
but I've often felt that our souls matches like puzzle pieces
to each other.
I often dream of going to a place
far, far away
where we could dance without anyone knowing who we were,
and time would be a long forgotten concept.

The seconds between our eyelids shutting up and down would merely be passing days and nights.
People are often afraid of what comes after we die,
but I know that even when the cities we've walked on turn to dust
my love will live on.
That even when your voice becomes a distant memory
And your beauty is merely a collection of old photographs,
My love will live on.
It is a dim light in a dark room,
illuminated by the heaven of your smile.

Trust me, there is no prayer for this.
There is no effigy to run to.
My love, we are all we can believe in.
I know that is hard to hear,
but if it were up to me
I would make rosaries out of my spine so you feel like you always have strength to stand up when you feel down.
My ribs would be tied together to form crosses for you.
I would sip holy water from the crevice of your collar bone
as if it was a gift from a pastor.
I would take the stars from the sky
and build you a cathedral.

In that cathedral,
would be every poem I've ever written for you.
Painted along the walls like hymns,
I would sing every single one to you.

I want to be needed by you as much as the air in your lungs
or the blood in your veins.
I want to be every reason that you haven't given up on love.
I know that I lash out sometimes,
And I don't often say the right things..
But if you could read the sonnets tattooed along my heart
You would know what I mean.
I haven't given up on love.
I don't know everything,
But I know enough to know
that I don't
know much..
You're the only certainty I need.

My mother once told me,
that rain remains the same
no matter where you go,
and I envy every drop
so much
for being able to touch you
in places I couldn't.

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