Never send - THE BETRAYAL OF LOVE

Dear YOU!

 I'm so mad at you today, I want you to really have it this time. Just hear me scream at you for being such an asshole. A prick, a weak link among the population of men. I really hated you today but I can't let you have it like i used to, you don't have me and i don't have you like i used to. I really thought I had you all to myself only to find you i was sharing you with the world while you had me caged in all to yourself. I felt so betrayed, at first i didn't know how to express it, how to put it in words, how do you let the one that hurt you the best know that they've hurt you to the point of regret of wanting to ever have known them. How? If there was ever a better way of saying it, I would have done so along time ago, but there's no better way of putting things, there's no better way of wording it. Baby you hurt me so much, can i even still call you baby? It no longer feels right! I hate thinking of you, it feels like a stomach flu. I feel like im going to be sick and vomit and just want to stay in all day and not be productive. Then I realize you would NEVER do the same for me, even think of me once 'cause if you ever did, you wouldn't have ever hurt me not even in your thoughts once. We started what seemed to be a just an ordinary get to know each other kind of thing.. Then we became more then just that, we became lovers, less then a year in. I loved you so much like ive loved no other. For a fact i never loved anyone before you, I don't even think i could even love anyone after you. I put up this front that i'm over you, but i find myself just thinking of all the good times we had before you changed on me.You left me in the cold once, to look for my own way back. I jumped off a moving vehicle once to prove I could do anything even if it hurts me. I did so many things for the very first time once just by loving you, never did i once betray you and disrespect you. I loved you more then anything in the world, but I now hate you more then anything in this century. You shattered my dreams and hopes of my happy ending. You shattered it all for your stupidness of wanting to be a big man in these streets. I could never believe the streets meant a lot more to you then i ever did. I found myself today looking at our old pictures, how we looked like we could been so happy together, at one moment i felt like we were so happy together. I LOVED YOU  so much it burns me everyday, that it's possible to love someone that much but darnn. You can and I did.We used to argue and fight so much, i thought we were progressing when we started fighting less. I really didn't know you were keeping yourself occupied with other woman to really pay much attention to what's really going on. I got so focused on wanting you to just handle your business that i didn't realize what's going on. I don't know when it started, i don't think i ever want to know. I'm so paranoid that one day i'll see you with another one and ill flip out like last time. But this time your not even mine to even be bothered about, im just bothered that your with someone else...... You betrayed me and you called it love, you hurt me and you called it love.. I don't see love as anything else other then pain, because of you, i would most likely avoid feeling "love" again. Just for the slightest reasons, that i don't want to be thinking about you or them and going back to old pictures trying to figure out where i went wrong, and how i went wrong, when really, ALL I EVER DID IS LOVE SOMEONE WHO WAS NOT CAPABLE OF LOVING.

This poem is about: 
Me

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