My Struggle with My Anxiety
Bullies are described as
People who are habitually cruel,
Insulting, and threatening,
To weaker people,
At least according to Merriam Webster.
Sure, I was bullied in middle school.
Wasn’t everyone?
But in my high school years,
I faced a different kind of bully,
One that was inside my head.
A bully that tormented me,
And shook me every day.
Some days,
I couldn’t bear to talk to anyone,
Not even my friends.
Fears of getting
Cut off,
Ignored,
Judged
Prevented me from being me.
Overcoming that bully
Has probably been the hardest thing
I will ever have to accomplish
For the rest
Of my days.
Overcoming that bully
Through standing up,
Telling him no,
Facing my fears,
Doing things that I always wanted to do.
Playing and singing in front of a crowd,
Unimaginable things for me to do,
Prior to me silencing
That evil bully
Inside me.
Inside me,
That evil bully
Was quite loud the first time,
That I performed in front of a crowd.
I eventually learned how to make him go away, though.
I have learned to ignore,
To plan against this bully.
To not listen to his deceitful tones,
And to finally be myself.
I can make friends, and perform.
Making friends,
Also deemed impossible
By that ever-present bully,
That lives on the inside
Of my head.
No one wants you,
He always said.
Taunting and teasing
Was his favorite thing,
Besides telling me I can’t do this.
He isn’t gone
Even now,
When the sun is appearing on the horizon.
He’s just temporarily
On vacation.
Sure, he’s still there,
I just don’t see him
As much anymore.
If he’s taking a vacation,
Let’s hope it’s a permanent one.