I cry every night. You think I'm fine because I cover up with a fake smile. Later, I cry infront of you. I couldn't hold it in. You asked why. I told you. I'm suicidal And I want to die. I don't want to live anymore. You looked shocked, but not too much. You know what I've gone through. But you still don't understand. We don't tell anybody. We just get meds. Until one day, I start writing 'the not' . I text you and say that I need to get in. I'm nervous, but I know I need help. When I go in and out' help', I leave and come right back. I will never get better. I only get better by myself. Locked in my room with coping skills. They help, but let's get something straight. People don't helo. They make me worse. I'm better off by my self. I'm better off dead. I just want to be by myself. But I can. There's always someone around me. They won't leave. Doesn't matter how loud I scream, They stick around. Maybe I should be the one to leave. Goodbye.