My mind

 

In a room, a closed room, blank walls, no where to go.

I can’t get loose from the chains pulling, holding me back.

These chains of my life, my depressed, lonely, on my own life.

The room has a flickering light, an unpleasant flickering, flickering at uncontrollable speed, an uncontrollable direction, like my mind.

A mind like mine doesn’t think straight or straight forward, I’m backwards.

My mind drives in reverse.

My mind is a drunk driver slurring my words.

I’ve swerved off the road of importance and hit a non-existing pole of light and crashed into darkness.

I’ve been burned alive by my incompetence. I’ve tried to climb out of the car of hopefulness, but I’m stuck in a car of no confidence.

I look out the window for help, kindness, but I’m burning in my car of untrustfulness.

I can’t see the blind spots, but then again, no one can’t spot blindness.

My eyes open to a man sitting in a chain examining me

Judging me, taunting me.

His eyes in disgust with me.

Is there something wrong with me?

How do we treat this girl? This girl chained to the floor or hell because of her self hate.

She is trying to break free of her guilt and fly to heaven.

I’ve tried to break loose so many times, too many times to count.

There are too many times to try and understand or comprehend.

I’m someone no one will understand, so I’ll sit.

I’ll stay here, chained against my will,

Cause my will is not willing to let anyone willing to help me.

Id rather be alone chained to the floor than be free with lying people in my faces.

I’d rather live my life in a dark room of honesty, then live in a bright world of deceit.

Clearly, I’m someone you can’t fix...

And that’s ok…I don’t want to be fixed…

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