I close my eyes
And feel my mind
I usually push away.
A million questions
With no words
Inundate from the far ends.
On my northern section,
Where my eyes, like windows, sit,
Memories from the last few minutes.
The deep section of my mind
Bubbles up old memories from the distant past.
The top of my mind
Is almost empty
A clear, clean space.
What is here?
An open river?
With unknown whispers.
This is not living in the moment.
Now I hear myself
What do I say?
Can anyone tell me, decipher my feelings?
And words that ebb and flow
Constantly with no end?
Only I can.
And yet I cannot.
How can I, a young woman
Of six and ten,
Decode my bare thoughts?
When others far older than I
Do not, cannot, and won’t even try?
All I can hear is loudness
An occasional word.
“See!” is suddenly exclaimed.
See what, where?
What do you mean?
Am I talking to myself…
Who can blame me,
When your own mind is made of mysteries.
But from the deep part of my chest,
Which, somehow, seems to hold in emotions.
The heart, a muscle, has my love and hope
No, there is an opening to my mind.
Which pumps the feelings like water,
And pours it out unto my lips and actions.
It literally swells within me!
The lungs and ribcage are just bone and flesh
And cannot possibly hold emotion.
So if not these feeble things,
Then where do these feelings live?
In the soul it must!
Believe in something beyond the anchor
To this earth
And know, I feel it, inside me
That it is here and breathes!
I return to my thoughts and find abstractions
They are naked and curl away from my sight
Trying to fade into shadows and behind a wall.
I press my hands to the wall and push
There is a small hole between the brick
Light floods through, and I peer inside.
A universe that has no end
A God with no beginning
Questions my small mind cannot answer
Or even try to comprehend.
But now let us cool down
Form our philosophy,
And descend once again,
To what God has to say
He may say it now, or later,
But if it is now,
You must be silent and listen.