I know I may be wrong for writing this. But I need to tell you what's in my head. Lord I keep on fighting this, but I don't know where to begin. I'm back in the dark, and I can't seem to find the light. I've been busy believing my own works, so that may be the reason why. And I know that's wrong of me. But I feel empty. Lord I ask, are you still here for me, or are you wanting me to suffer slowly. I had a close friend abandon me in my time of need, leaving me in the darkness where I couldn't see. I felt something cold approaching me. Like something that wasn't meant to be. I feel betrayed by the people around me, so now, I don't know who to trust. I don't know where else to go, so I'm leaving it to us. Tell me God why are you still here, you can abandon me like all my fake friends did. You don't have to stick around, you can literally just leave. And walk away from me, and let me suffer in shame. I feel so betrayed, I can't understand. I try my best to be a great man. I try to be as honest as I can, and I'm hated for it. I'm just not a likable person, and that's the way you made me. I'm hated by everyone for literally nothing. They don't know me, but they try to act like they do. They put me below them because they think they're so cool. Who am I to disagree, they're right. Because I have no one by my side. Except these demons that follow me in my lowest moments. And you're voice that keeps telling me to keep on going. Why am I alone God, why do you keep doing this to me. You keep sending demons with fake halo's to support me. They don't do nothing, but leave me in a lost desert, as i'm talking to myself about trusting nothing. I know this is a trial for me, and I may need to face it alone. But having no one by your side makes the world feel much more cold. I just need to learn to except the fact that I'm a lone wolf who fights alone. I chose this lonely road. And I rather walk it alone. Even though it would be great to have someone to hold. I have to walk alone. So God please forgive me for what I wrote. I hope this doesn't keep me away from your throne. If it does, I will regret ever writing this. But I rather do this than give death the satisfaction of taking my soul.