My Life in a Poem - ' when I learned to love myself '
Throughout this life I have been exposed to dark things,
I was happy then sad, then caught in between.
Glass half full is better than a glass half empty,
Now if I have a glass of anything at all, I probably have plenty
When I was younger I was so unaware,
Of assault and abandonments, poverty and struggles
I was very fortunate and I had parents who I cuddled
That does not mean that it cannot change, I was hit hard with my life struggles hard one day
It altered my mind and I now believe
Life is not not a walk in the park, a dream, or a breeze
People can change and loved ones leave
I once saw blue skies and daisies all the time,
Until ignorance and bliss expired and the world posioned my mind
You cant take back the things you do and say
It's because of other people that I changed my way
Would I rather have stayed naive and never known
What would happen to me if a guy took me home
When you think that you are safe you are probably not
He might slip something in your drink and never get caught
It wasn't easy to get through but it help shaped me
Into the type of person that gets girls home safely
Life is a journey with no destination
Nothing is certain and no one gave us directions
When I was shameful I began to question
My motives, my morals, and my self-perception
It was like one day I was together and the next I was broken
Because life threw me a fast one and my eyes weren't open
They say these things come in sets of three
And they were right again
After this happen two more boys took me home
And had sex with me while I slept in their beds
I don't tell people because I don't know what to say
And when I think about telling people I get in the way
I never cared about others judging my appearance,
Now it is the reason that I am tense when a boy is near me and I am in tight pants
When someone makes a comment about a persons body
It can go one of two ways,
Either the mind is strong enough to ignore it
Or the words will echo through a mind on replay
Me, I was not strong and secure then,
I was young and still pure
No one had touched my body just yet,
2016 was a terrible year.
I knew a boy would break my heart one day,
But this was not the average way
Because the boy that hurt me most in the end
Was not only my family, but also my best friend
I was not the word that you said I was
I am not the size of a whale
I did not deserve the disrespect
So I set a goal and I swore I would not fail
Years of self-hate and crying and fear
Of a roll on my body and my reflection in the mirror
It's all in your head they say, you can't lose anymore weight
Well I wont be done until the boy I love wants to take me on a date
It took three years but one day I was fine
I learned how to love myself, it just took a long time
When I found myself I stopped and considered
My life in the future if I continued to wither
I want to raise a family that is healthy and kind
With healthy bodies and healthy minds
I did not know this until it was over,
But neglecting your mind is neglecting your controller
What would I do if my precious daughter
Ever confronted me with this disorder
Mom I can't look at myself, Mom I got on the scale
Mom, why did my little brother call me a whale
I want to say that she is beautiful in every way
But what does that word mean when the word whale is on replay
I will say you are unique and you are loved
You are one of a kind
You are the daughter I have always dreamed of
You are enough and you will shine
You are worthy and you are going to be fine
Stop crying and start smiling, I love you Ali
Life is far too short to be so unhappy
Too short to be unhappy over a number on a scale
Too short to only drink water and maybe some kale
Life is about adevnture and love
It is a discovery of who we are, and what we are capable of
If life was a treasure hunt and with a hidden surprise
It's final gift would not be a mean guy or your jean size
Be free in this life because it is a gift
Life is a journey, and it has a time limit,
We get to choose our own path and how we live it.
But before you can let go, you need to forgive it.
Forgive him, forgive her, and the dark things that happened.
You are a warrior, you are a champion, you can't change the past now because it's happened.
Look how far you have come my love, and all the work that has been done
You taught you how to love yourself and you did it all from scratch
You've always had a fire in you Al, you just forgot to light the match.