Is My Life an Illusion? Because My Glasses Just Broke
Today
for once
I spoke up in class.
And instead of
listening
and respecting my views,
they told me
that's a creative thought!
But now,
think longer
make it better.
I have been told to think outside
of one box
and into another.
The cycle is never ending.
Today,
my creativity is measured on a scale
from one to infinity
because they say there is no limit;
but once you hit the
barrier they created
then something is wrong.
And you must be fixed.
See I am me because
of my ability to share
my thoughts and reasons
But I am told
they need to be more creative
than the ones of my sister,
of my friends,
of another cookie cutter high school student.
Because,
everyone is going to see that
in the passage we read.
Everyone is going to put that
in their essay.
And you need to stand out.
But my thoughts when taken
and placed in a careful order,
rehearsed for the crowds who will
come on opening night to see the act titled:
"Promising high school student
with a future career"
A part of me is stolen.
We know the famous saying,
I think therefore I am.
But what am I?
Without my creativity I am nothing.
Just barely more than a top song
played on repeat until we get bored
and move on to another.
I can't live without thinking
for myself because without my original
thoughts I am just
another puppet.
And the world is beginning to look a lot
like a marionette show;
with the master bellowing
THINK.
But I do not think
in the correct definition
of the word.
If the box exists
I refuse to see it,
and that really bugs them.
It gets under their skin
they begin to feel like the leeches they are
as they drain us
of our individuality.
Which, by the way,
they rewrote the definition for.
All the way back when we
started school
when they lined us up,
but told us to be different.
Tied our hair the same way,
but gave us individual names.
Names we carried into high school.
Names we spent the rest of our lives
trying to escape.
And there's a problem
when you're trying to escape yourself.
Because maybe you're not
breaking away from who you are
but trying to ignite your own emacipation.
The goal anymore
has become all about control.
And when did creativity
equate to likes or follows?
It's all about approval because
that's how we were conditioned
to
be
better
than the rest.
But in these endeavors
how much have we lost?
Are the thoughts in this poem mine?
Or just another shining example
for them to display
with a golden plaque and
my ascribed name
"creativity".
I refuse to be shoved
into the box
and spend the rest of my life
thinking I'm getting out of it.
Like an animal in the zoo
thinks the painted trees on the walls
are a forest.
They know better.
They know we watch them.
And I feel as if I am constantly observed
that they fed me anecdotes
and tell everyone:
"Gather around!"
"Watch this!"
This is how a high school student
should think.
It's not.
Think the way you want to
and know what you believe in
because they will try to tell you
that it's not enough.
But all they're doing is
forming you into another
definition, my word,
they are quite the neologists!
As I grow
and I realize
I learn that what I can't live without
is knowing who I am.
Because if you do not have a firm standing
in the beliefs which fuel
the fire in your heart,
then you are not living.
You're just another body.
I want to see you walk through
the doors of the building
that houses the people
who used to tell you to think better
and leave scorch marks on the carpet.
To remind them that
you have a fire
that their definitions
and improvement classes
cannot unspark.
The ability to think
for myself
is what keeps me
from becoming another puppet.
Today in class
I spoke up.
I read a poem.
About
elementary school and golden plaques.
About society
and the zoo it's become.
And for once
no one said a word.
For once
they listened.