Even now I’m inadvertently being protected

A first class trip from heaven is what He’s selected

I’m immigrating to a sphere of wickedness and iniquity

Yet already, I feel eyes constantly watching over me

But my brother’s pains are unnoticed by clinical observation

While I sleep, fate had him face umbilical strangulation

Losing blood to the brain my brother claws violently

Upon discovering complications mom cries silently

We both escaped from the womb, my brother paid with a curse

His mind suffocating yet they looked after me first

The loss of oxygen to his brain would change him forever

Slow of speech and unsocial a normal life could be never

 

 

Why can’t I divide my blessings and provide for the masses

And breakdown the walls of entrapment within social classes

Inject my spirit into Iraqi boys forced into killing

Falsely accused men locked up, their lifetime unfulfilling

Anger burning a hole in his soul incapable of healing

Because raising your son beats staring at a stone ceiling

These people along with a thousand others smothered by fear

Makes me question why God used a guardian angel right here

I feel the pressure to succeed for those who never had a chance

All the people that have aided me, hoping in life I advance

I feel frightened that my potential grows from all this assistance

I’m scared of what I should build from my middle class existence

 

 

Now my mom financially unstable unable to keep us

My mother working three jobs yet unable to feed us

She put me up for adoption to rescue my soul

Can’t provide without my father whose running away from his role

And so alone she chose a family for me to be raised in

Can’t fathom the improved environments I soon would be saved in

My brother stayed back with my mom destined to struggle and fight

As if poverty and pain would infect their neighborhood like a blight

And so I grew naturally confident and hungry for knowledge

Entered sports, bloomed physically with aspirations for college

I feel the love of my family transcending through races

Disproving stereotypes to my new microcosm of white faces

Small school and most everybody knows me my name

Younger kids watch my habits so they can do it the same

Tenth percent of my class, I’m going up, the stakes getting higher

Look in my eyes and my pupils will be lit up by fire

Yet I’m scared of falling short of what my teachers expect

Do my best to sound intelligent to earn their respect

But my confidence falters when my plans don’t come to pass

Figurative investors helping, hoping I return them their cash

I know a token successful black man won’t mirror my people

But I hope for a revolution to rid the black community of evil

Yet violence tortures my brother’s block, without hope for change

His innate character is mutating to cope with the pain

Ghetto programming building his mind for only survival

Already handicapped he feels vulnerable and goes homicidal

Schooling won’t defeat crime if most the time there’s no father

What makes me better than my brother, statistically chosen for slaughter?

 

 

Why can’t I divide my blessings and provide for the masses

And breakdown the walls of entrapment within social classes

Give my legs to Cerebral Palsy patients dreaming of running

Feel the rage of young Malcolm X scared of what he’s becoming

Turned his life around and was eliminated by his own people

The infighting within his race made sure they couldn’t be equal

His people along with a thousand others smothered by fear

Makes me question why God used a guardian angel right here

I feel the pressure to succeed for those who never had a chance

All the people that have aided me, hoping in life I advance

I feel frightened that my potential grows from all this assistance

I’m scared of what I should build from my middle class existence

 

 

My first job was with my father working construction

Work, sports, church and school I followed all his instructions

Had a girlfriend that would forever change the way that I think

Her presence making sure my self-esteem could never shrink

My metamorphosis was slow but soon I walked without fear

Knowing even if I die I’ll meet my God with a conscious that’s clear

I’m not perfect but I realize what my heart really wants

And it’s not infinite women, gold chains or clothing to flaunt

I want a wife that stands by me when reality strikes

I want children that live morally even if they’re disliked

I myself have a luxury to dream about helping others

Because my brothers in rehab wishing he’d died inside my mother

Some say that the poor have it easier than most

As they cling to their petty materials that keep them engrossed

 

 

Now I’m not sure if my twin is real or even alive

I’m not sure why I was adopted or how my new mom arrived

However I know that I wake up in a home with siblings that love me

I know I can’t leave my house without mom trying to hug me

I know that I get full at mealtimes and sleep in a bed

I know when my friends have problems nobody ends up dead

I know I look in the mirror with a grin on my face

I know my family could never make me feel out of place

My brother symbolizes the life that I very well could have lived

Because we only become the product of the settings God gives

And so I awaken from the illusion that my blessings are normal

And I read the faces of those that keep their problems internal

Trying to focus on my schooling in the years to come

Reaching out to lost souls until my time is done

 

 

Why can’t I divide my blessings and provide for the masses

And breakdown the walls of entrapment within social classes

I’ll strengthen the parents of autistic kids, unsure and afraid

Comfort disciples who didn’t know Jesus would rise from the grave

His people along with a thousand others smothered by fear

Makes me question why God used a guardian angel right here

I feel the pressure to succeed for those who never had a chance

All the people that have aided me, hoping in life I advance

I feel frightened that my potential grows from all this assistance

I’m scared of what I should build from my middle class existence