My goodbye letter

I wont lie to you and say I dont hurt. I wont lie and say that I dont miss you

I often go throughout my days offs feeling off

As if there was an acher holding me down

Its easy to ignore feelings when im busy thats how that works

But on days off  I cant seem to get a break at times I am happy and I feel okay

but others I feel myself fade into a dark hole that I had fought so hard to get out

I wonder if you ate today now this may seem as if I am speaking about an ex but no

not this time

I write about my mother even though we never had the strongest bond 

even though you were so bad for my mental state I miss you

I miss you on days when I need a hug I miss you on days when life is tough

even though you were never there and your abcent would be more comfort then you

the last words I heard from you were that you were done with me

that you no longer cared 

I was too much I was stressful 

Mom I was broken I was hurting so much I didnt know if I wanted life

every cry for help was so deep inside me I was begging I was losing a battle

the battle of life I was losing so far my demons were killing me

I had lost all hope in everything the small things I did enjoy felt as if it were all taken

I never meant to hurt you in anyway. I just could no longer stand the silnce 

It hurt knowing that you no longer wanted me in your life

As time passes I hope you can find the heart to forgive me for my actions 

I know I have done you wrong in many ways that I wish I could fix

But mom I am just human I mess up and I break rules 

I learn the hard way and I fight I yell 

I hope one day you could heal yourself and find the help you need

I pray that life gives you happiess and good health 

This is my goodbye to the pain I have been holding

This is my final goodbye to the woman that I pray life gives you everything

I pray that life heals your broken soul that you find what you are looking for 

Mom I love you

From Your Son

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