My Five Fears

I have five fears: height, depth, vastness, tight spaces, and falling.

Let me explain.

Height (obviously) I hate heights I wither in fear at the thought of being at the top of a mountain, looking down from the highest room in a skyscraper. My fear is the actual three dimensional view of high places. Where everything below is tiny and I am huge based on my perspective. The upside is that I am not far-sighted and I will only succeed in seeing twenty feet below me . . . before I pass out and fall to my death.

Depth, this one is wierd. When I hear the word depth I think ocean. So I am unsure whether it is the ocean that really scares me. But when I hear depth my mind wanders to a single person swimming in the endless ocean, entirely alone with nothing but water surrounding them, and they are only a speck at the top and nothing but darkness is below them. 

Vastness, this one makes me think of two things desert and space. My fear is getting lost in space or stranded in the desert. Now it is the actual fear that no matter how much I try to escape it I will continuously face the same image over and over again until the day I give.

Tight spaces- none of these fears actually have somewhere they originate from like I wasn't stranded in a desert, or in the ocean, and I wasn't locked up in a tiny space when I was young. I think what truly scares me is the thought of being helpless, unable to move knowing that no matter how much you try you won't escape.

My last fear Falling. I really should rename this one to failing because that is my true fear. Its resonated with me for quite some time and I know that it is inevitable, sure some bumps and scratches aren't bad and they serve the purpose that when they do occur you learn from them. But my fear is to be at the top with the mentality nowhere else to go but up and when I am almost at my full potential I am falling. So quickly, so suddenly that I cannot grasp anything, I cannot do anything to soften the blow from crashing at the bottom.

I know these really aren't your bone- chilling fear of stalkers, psychopaths, clowns, giant spider out to eat you but these are my fears.

This poem is about: 
Me

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