My depression is like

I’m swimming through a deep darkness

Thick and black like oil

My airways are blocked

Panicking desperately to reach the surface

But an anchor chained to my left foot

Keeps me on the brink of death

 

Your love is nothing but an act

Your smile

Your words

They are all a lie

To think I could be cured by the best actress

That’s the biggest joke of all

Bring me Jennifer Lawrence, Morgan Freeman, Brad Pitt

I am not a fool to be made of

You all see me as a joke

Someone to lift their own spirits by putting me down

 

I am the real actor

I laugh, smile

In front of my so-called “friends”

I could trick anyone that I am happy

So much that they could smell

The scent of sweet roses and daisies

See the bright pinks and yellow reflecting off me

They would give me an award for

 Being the most elated person

 

Every day I put up this play

And I get real tired

Insomnia keeps me awake

With white candle wax dripping on the floor

As a deep red crimson follows it

The glint of steel

Is quite the gentleman

Kind, loving

Yet like a drug

Sharp and addicting

 

Who would have thought that

Even I could find romance

The tragedy is my one and only love

Taste like bitter metal

And is not even alive

Just like the fantasyland of

Joy I wish to see

Is only a dream

 

My razor

Begs me each night to taste the

Scarlet copper

My head tells me yes

But my body says no

And I cry because that is the only thing hanging on

When someone scars, punches, or cuts me

She heals it as fast as she can

If only my skin could speak

She could be the only one to save me

From myself