Why do I insist on injuring myself in this way?
Watching you go about your day,
Talking and laughing with your friends,
Hugging them, embracing them.
And I watch with a black anger
And bitterness
And I envy their closeness with you,
Their casual smiles and jokes with you.
I can’t stand to stand on the outside
And see how they get to have you
And not know how lucky they are,
Not know someone is observing them
Wishing they could be among them,
Wishing they could be amongst the likes of you.
That’s all I want.
I just want to be with you,
To be near you, to feel your body heat around me,
Not even touching me or looking at me just to be in.
To be on the inside,
To have the privilege of basking
In your warmth.
Just to know you.
That’s all I want