To my Dear Daughter:

Year 1:

I hope I’m not too off key for you,

because I will be singing lots of lullabies to your small form.

Ones to rock you in my arms,

to make you drift into quiet nothingness.

My dear daughter, how I love you.

 

Your First Day of Kindergarten:

Oh, how I hate to see you go, my dear daughter.

I think about you all day.

You got off that big yellow school bus and came running into my arms,

wearing a Crayola-marked crown,

a pink balloon trailing behind you, on the gentle breeze that also catches your blonde, wispy hair.

I hear the words you gleefully whisper into my ear, “I love you mommy.”

I love you too, my dear daughter.

 

Time passes,

Your first trip to the ER,

you learn to ride your bike.

You have your first heartbreak,

and the first time you cry, really cry.

 

Your First Day of High School:

You let on cloud 9,

claiming nobody could rain on your parade.

I knew better.

I prayed to god nobody would taunt you,

or call you a stupid freshman,

like they did to me.

You came home with much harder news.

You asked me the question,

Why are the girls sooo skinny?

I can see their bones, and they never eat.

Why mom?

Why?

Why ME?

What am I supposed to tell you?

That society sucks and it’s called Anorexia

and I hate to break it to you but life is tough

and full of hurt and hardship and heartbreak and hunger.

Those people take it out on their bodies and yes, it’s scary,

yes I know but promise me, promise me my dear daughter,

you won’t follow in their footsteps.

Promise ME, my dear daughter, that you won’t follow in MY footsteps.

 

Time passes, You get skinnier.

I realize you’re not eating lunch.

You’re scaring me, my dear daughter.

 

November 29th, 2021:

You told me you hated me today,

because I wouldn’t let you go on a diet

. What happened to you, dear daughter?

Did you listen to those self-confidence sucking demons who told you you were ugly?

Fat.

And Worthless?

Dear daughter, I am helping you.

Say you hate me,

but I will always love you.

 

Time passes,

130,

120,

110,

100,

95

STOP!

 

Day One of Treatment:

Oh, dear daughter, how I pray for you.

My heart breaks,

my soul shatters,

and I cannot continue to see you like this.

Please, dear daughter, learn to heal.

Learn to love your body.

Lear, dear daughter, to love yourself.

 

Last Day of Treatment:

What can I say?

You beat the army of Anorexia with just... you.

You did it, my dear daughter!

You fought tooth and nail for each and every pound,

and while you felt like giving up, you managed to turn your life around.

And you recovered, yes you did,

You fought those demons, brought back your inner kid.

You dreamer,

you lover,

you fighter,

my dear daughter.