My Biggest Fear

People tend to ask
What my biggest fear is
They expect answers like
Spiders
Or heights
Maybe a clown
Or two
But you see
My fear is unique.

When this thought
Comes to mind
All I can think about
Is how
I spend
So much of my time
Thinking about you,
How you smile,
How you laugh,
How the stars
Spark in your eyes.

And I think of
how you claim
To think of me.
Like I'm a knight
In shining armor.
When I'm really,
A transguy
With fractured ribs,
And a self-esteem
to match them.
But you see me
As perfect as
The sun,
And the moon,
And the stars
That litter
The skies.

My fear is
More complex
Than most.
For my fear,
Is to become ugly,
To someone who thinks
The universe
Is in my eyes.
That the quirks
I have are
No longer endearing,
But distractive
In your busy life.
That my messages
In bottles,
On orange peels,
Written on
The moon,
In the stars,
Are no more
than a cliché
Waste of time.

The mountains
That I moved
In your name.
Now no more than
Ant hills.
This world
I built for you,
Now,
More or less
A smudged
Doodle
On napkins,
The songs
I screamed
To the hill tops
Now lost in
The wind.

My biggest fear
Is all the bad
That can come
From something so good.

This poem is about: 
Me

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