May I ask, why the "Stache"?

Why would you wear, upon your face, a patch of hair?  Thick or thin, it's growing there, the hair, under your nose and above your lip, a place for bacteria and debris to burrow!  And yet, you've worn it there, for all these years, and you haven't a care, for the likes of what others may say.  Whether, like my opinion, it's dismay, or some starstruck "Stachee", it's hooray!

The mustache, is it manly?  In the past manly men have sported a few.  Cowboys wore them, oh so well.  Hunky actors have lived to tell, and even Teddy Roosevelt dared to grow a "stache", the patch of hair that needs washed, combed, and trimmed, alas.

If indeed I were a boy, I'd not wear a mustache upon my face.  I would not like the scratchy stubble that rested there, or the thought that it is misshapen, or that rubbish is dangling from my facial hair!

However, for those trail blazing few, the cowboys, the Tom Selleck's, and the Presidents too!  The mustache is the thing that defines their face!  It's manly, alluring, and it draws women into the arms of men, who have a strong embrace.