The Mother I Tried to Be

Sat, 04/19/2014 - 21:38 -- AmyLeya

Distance closes in
Becomes reality
Finds it's way in
Takes the last of me

It wasn't always this way
It wasn't like this before he was there
It was different
And I'm sorry I couldn't keep it here

I'm sorry I'm not the mother you need
But the walls that now separate us
Are not stone
But glass

If only they were stone
So I didn't have to stand and watch
And not be there
I tried, I promise

I tried to be there
I tried to cling to the little bit of joy that lingered when the rest was gone
But it escaped like water through my fingers
And took a part of me

It was okay before
And instead of bettering it for you
I destroyed it
I destroyed it with my bare hands

So I won't blame you if you don't trust me
I wouldn't, I don't
And I'd be completely honest with you
But I've gone too far lying to myself

But I'm begging you to let me in
The break the glass that separates us
And build a new city
With bridges, not barriers

I'm begging you to let me help you
Like I've been trying to do
I'm begging you to let me be
The mother I tried to be

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