The country of my birth pushes me to Mexico,

“It’s where morenas like you belong”.

Mexico pushes me back,

“You’re too gringa to be here”.

Gringa-morena

 

Mestiza

The skin of indigenous warriors bred with Spanish conquistadores,

Not known if through love or force.

 

Morena

Not brown like Mamà Lidia’s hard working hands that raised her five daughters.

Not white like my grandfather that kissed his five daughters good night and never came back for good morning.

 

Dirty

A privilege that was stripped at birth.

A  mother’s dismay at the sight of her morena baby girl.

 

Impure

The result of the mixing of two cultures,

Rejected by both.

A  reminder of the flaw in my pedigree

 

A tone with personality.

A color that doesn’t apologize.

A skin that has grown thick.

One that lives with two clashing stories in peace.

Not a gringa-morena,

But a Mexicana-Americana