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I look in the mirror and I see a person
Whose face reflected what was on her heart.
I look at her and tell her, “You know something?
You're special. You are loved. You are lucky.”
She looks back at me with confusion in her eyes.
Then, a mischievously knowledgeable smile emerges;
From the depths of her mind
To the surface of her face.
She remembers the heroes her elders have taught her of;
Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks,
Malcolm X, Helen Keller;
People who knew they were more than
What the world said they were,
Despite the fact that all their friends
Nearly accepted that twisted “reality”
That they “ain't worth nothing”.
She tells me, “Yes, I know. You know what else?
I can be better. I will be better. Tell your friends.”
I will tell my friends; my peers who are also
Underestimated. We CAN be better.
As a race. As an age. As a gender.
As a species; humanity can be better.
You can let others underestimate you;
You can underestimate yourself,
You can underestimate ME,
But the person in the mirror knew the truth
And so do I, so I will rise above.
Comments
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Eunoia
I like this! I suggest that you might want to use some power words in there. Read som poetry from the pro's and highlite the big ones. The beautiful details that makes your heart melt with love. or the words that hold so powerful and strong that catches you there. I see that you tried by using caps lock to give a boost that they are important to the reader, however it wasn't the most effective. You got a great story, like the content a lot, I agree we have to have more attention to our woman heroes or sheroes. Is that your picture? you are so pretty! I love your hair!!!
my favorite parts:
confusion in her eyes
I look in the mirror and I see a person
Whose face reflected what was (i)on her heart.
question: what was in her heart?
"a mischievously knowledgeable smile emerges;
From the depths of her mind
To the surface of her face." love this, great emotion and movement/action!
As an age. As a gender.
As a species ----GREAT RHYTHM!!!! LOVE
But the person in the mirror knew the truth
And so do I, so I will rise above.
(rise above what? just say something like clouds, or people or world or humanity, idk whatever you choose *they are so many choices here! it help it look stronger I think.)-
underestimate--- it's a little chunky and big here compared to the rest. It's a big concept or story. how people judge others before they get to know them. So you might want to break that down, make it easier on the reader (who might want to say it out loud, idk something to think about) I completely understand why you used for the last three times, because you are completely right, repetition brings power to the power (
more thoughts: Better isn't really power word and you overuse it. (Remember you can accept my critiques or not, it's your poem you can do what you please these are only suggestions that may improve them. I am still a learning poet myself, so I might be mistaken.)
Despite the fact that all their friends
Nearly accepted that (((twisted “reality”))) ---- this one is great!
That they “ain't worth nothing”. (fine
twisted reality is fine, i would even abandon the quotations because it makes sense. the rest, it's a tinsy bit wordy. You might want to make even shorter because what you are trying to say here can be put in a simple way. *shrugs*