Monsters of the Night

I am not so close to the light as they think I must be, should be.

At night, dark angry rainbows replace rational thought.

Monsters goade me from the supposed good with the voices of faeries and

Sparkling firebirds. They are far too powerful. I don't want to resist.

I have my own camouflage. But I want, I want to have someone like me.

Only wiser. I don't think it's possible for me to know the truth. Within twelve years.

I want to have someone who understands--understands what... I don't know. Yet.

Lots of not-yets and not-todays. Not tomorrow and not yesterday.

I wait for dreams of broken-not-fallen angels to take me away from reality.

Only a few words and memories keep me close to the earth.

I try to form an iron curtain, I try to bulid a wall. Nothing else awaits. I must fall.

I try to keep myself inside but I'm already overexposed.

I cling to the thoughts that give me rushes of victory. My personality

Forces me to turn against myself--heart and mind, again and again and again.

I don't know who I am. I don't know who you are. I cannot see a flicker of light.

I've forgotten how to see. Did I ever know? I was always blurred. Untrue.

Can you tell me who I am? I rely on the monsters of the night

To convince me that I can survive. To convince me I am on the right path.

Who knows who they are, or what their intention is.

Who knows who I am, or what I will ever be.

I hope to find something to prove myself with,

Something they could never, ever change.

The darkness renews my supposed truth.

Goodnight.

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