Mommy Dearest
Because i love you
I'll call you ugly the day you decide your cut your hair shorter than your brother
I'll rip the flower crown out of your head when you're fourteen
I'll call you a whore when i see you've discovered feelings at the age of sixteen
I see you make all these mistakes and i correct them
For when i had you, you were a reflection of me
Your successes and failures
Because i love you
i'll save our reputation
Because you loved me
I would cut my hair short so noone can tell my hair was falling out
Whether it was from the stress of the constant pulling i'll never know
I would refuse to ever put anything into my head
Under fear that i would be less than a wallflower, if anyone noticed me it would never be for a good thing
I let you push me back in the closet and make me repeat that i only like boys
For having connections with the soul means nothing if they don't have the right organ
You saw characteristics in me that you didn't like and tried to change me
All oddities became your failures
Because you loved me
You tried to change whatever damaged your reputation
But because I learned to love myself
I grew out my hair
For every strand that goes in front of my face makes me realize that i am in charge of my own decisions
I made my head a poster board
Ready to be decorated whenever i chose
I am slowly finding the difference between love and lust
No coming out party necessary, my brother never needed to come out as straight so why should i come out as queer
Because I love myself
I know nothing else matters
Unless i am happy with it
Not her
Not anyone ever again