The Moment I Knew

the moment i knew i didnt need you

you never paid attention 

you being the crushing weight on my shoulders

like a column from a building

and when i finally let go?

all hell broke loose

from the week you screamed and yelled

from 23 simple words of me saying im ready to leave

for me finally caring for myself

when you called me selfish

because i was finally watching out for my safety

for you making yourself the victim

when i was the one who was being touched with no permission 

when i was the one being forced on 

but you claim to hate people like that 

and when your friends like me more than you?

you blamed it all on me

"you became a nightmare"

that was the only thing that stuck in your head?

not me saying i cried over you screaming

from me being uncomfortable and leaning away

from me flinching every time you made a fast movement

"i love you" and "the taste is bitter" you said

right then, i was thinking that I was the one better off dead!

and sometimes, i still think that.

from you claiming no one cares 

youre the one who pushed them away

youre the one who pushed me away

you claimed you were improving

but improvement is going forward, not pushing back

and definately not being a megalomaniac 


This poem is about: 


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