she brought me into this world, 19 and unsure. she is a queen among royals.
now I am 19 and unsure, and if I had a child of my own i would be stuck in a much deeper hole than I am right now.
she said I came out small and screaming, and even though that foreshadowed the majority of our future together, she didn't send me back to where I came from.
I commend her for that, and thank her every day for being selfless enough to want to grow up with me rather than in spite of me.
she brought me up as the daughter of a shower-and-car-and-a-wedding-one-time singer, letting me stay up late sometimes to watch Grease and Annie in her bed with her, teaching me to be loud and sparkly with an ear for happy music and lyrics that mean something.
she brought me up as the daughter of a preschool teacher with a little brother and lots of younger cousins, teaching me to care and create and play, play, play. I hope that one day my soul shines through my eyes as brightly as hers does, like the top
of the Chrysler building.
she taught me to touch things hard
grab a handful of everything and crush this life between your fists like berries
let it ooze and stain your palms technicolor
don't lick your fingers.
touch people soft
do not leave your fingerprints on the clear glass partition of their hearts.
do not leave your footprints on the clear untouched perfection of our planet.
everyone is quaking, just not at the same frequency— nobody is just a vibration
she taught me to try and show those who forgot who they used to be, that that person is still inside of them, even if they do not believe in ghosts.
she taught me to believe in ghosts for them.
there is real gold in her hair, she is shivering splendor.
she is greased lightning and I have never been present to see real fear in her eyes.
i want her to know that i am so proud of everything she has accomplished as i've grown- i want her to know that her hard work has not gone unnoticed.
those tiger stripes on her torso that i left her with are proof that she will not be defeated by this life, and i am amazed by her.
audrey niya, you are a queen among royals, and fighting back is your specialty. and it took me awhile, but i finally realized that when you're born from a woman who is confident, determined, brave, and beautiful, you're a queen too.