Metaphorical Love
Location
my tears fill the bathtub we bathe in
they wash away the dirt of today
you caress my scars
kiss away
the blood u spilt
im addicted to the pain you cause me
cradle me as you kill me
cuz at first i had butterflies fluttering
i thought
a sickness in my stomach that you masked calling nerves
now you're getting on my nerves
and i realized the butterflies were fluttering because they were scarred
trying to get away
from our pesticidal relationship
a mutual understanding of our parasitic love
sucking the innocence from me
a life force of deep crimson color
biting my lips till they sting
licking up your trophy
as you lean back to make me look
you were a crook
im your partner in crime
blamed for my actions
as you hold the spell over me
he who shall not be named
you bend me to your will
its demented
how u suck all my happiness
make me think that you're the only one who can make me happy
a fake patronus charm of love
masking the reality of my inevitable end
an end you brought down on me
an end i asked for
a contract i didn't read in full
i accepted to your terms and conditions without warning
I didn't see the bold red letters that labeled you as hazardous
a toxic chemical
weaponizing hormones
a chemical infatuation
labeled don’t touch
don't consume
and i assume u knew
the whole time
the whole world knew
but you made me deaf you spoke for me
i didn't listen to to warnings they mouthed to me cuz you signed to me something different
you said they're jealous of what we have
and i believed you
walking blind into a grecian arena
battling my true self
armed with a shield of lies that you provided me
than threw me in as you watched like a king
proudly picking popcorn as i pounce on my opponent
plunging spears in places spears shouldn’t be
heart stop beating
true self beaten
and i'm addicted to the kill
to the pain of battle you imposed on me
I miss the misery you bring
the thoughts you left me were only ones of self righteous suicide
but i can't take away what you already denied
so take me
make my heart beat faster until it beats no more
bite me
and be my parasitic vampire
a seductress cloaked in the night
of childhood nightmares
when dreams become reality
and the reality is that nothing comes to be
a begging victim
asking for the blade
youre getting away with murder
and i'm your accomplice
cuz i'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
its a shame
that you got to me first
because now i can’t see a future without you
like a slave that gave up on any hope of freedom
i came accustomed to the whipping
the starvation of endearing contact that didn’t hurt
you swang low
a deep blow
but my chariot didn’t come
when i looked over jordan lake I didn’t see
no white ambulances came for me
I was left to you
as it should be
stockholm syndrome
no place id rather be