Mental Traffic

Pollution clouds my vision -

Mental Traffic pauses

It suffocates my thoughts -

My mental bubbles just pop.

Pop! Pop! POP!

The urge - the sudden urge...

To just STOP everything at once.

Freeze time and scream.

Old friends vanished;

Old eating habits appear.

Stress is my witness.

I lie awake,

Underneath its tight pressure.

 

Mental Traffic causes

Mental Battles -

The ones that hold battle scars.

Struggling 

With Reality and Dreams.

Which is real again?

Studying and surviving.

School starts.

Eviction plays.

Forced out of my own home.

The streets -

My new 'home'.

For how long?

 

Home stress

Collides with 

Mental Traffic.

Fire alarms ring in my mind.

Shut them off!

Sirens roll through my ears.

Loudly and horribly.

Cacophonic music scratches my mind.

Mental Traffic!

Mental Alert!

Beware of stress levels!

It is everywhere.

Too high and hot -

Bothersome fear smashes into me.

I mentally weep.

Standby,

I must count the sheep.

 

Wait...

School is still in play.

Days in my mind, 

I forgot the date.

A new home.

It was over a month,

Since I had a proper home.

How long was I awake?

Am I still human?

I am still breathing,

Right...?

New school -

New faces -

New rules -

But still old me.

 

Beginning of school drags -

Like a piece of string on the ground.

Should I tie the knot?

Or is it too soon?

The clock is still ticking;

But the Mental Traffic is still waiting.

Should I move along?

Disperse myself in the crowds?

Inhale the dosage of the new environment.

I am still confused.

My mind still play games.

Within time,

I hide in my head.

Keep my words sewn shut.

Like my eyes hide,

Behind my cloak of hair.

In my mind,

My Mental Traffic is the cause...

To my senioritis,

But behold,

My Back to School days..

This year -

I end my school with confusion.

Will I ever find myself to reality?

Or does my Mental Traffic control that too?

This poem is about: 
Me

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