Memory Lane

You see I'm not someone who likes to think about the past 

But if tomorrow I wake up, and decide to journey down Memory Lane, I'd be sure to visit you

As much as it pains me and cuts me like 10,000 swords I cannot help but wander down that unlit street, just one more time

Just one more time, thats what I always tell myself

But this one time turns into one more time and one more time and one more time and no matter how fast and how long I run away from this street i always end up back at it, like I'm in a gated neighborhood that has just one street

And inside this gated neighborhood there is only one house on that one street and only one person in that one house

But that one person on that one street in that one house has so many memories that not even the stars in the sky or the sand on the shore could ever come close to matching their number

 

 

You see im not someone who likes to think about the past

But if tomorrow I wake up and decide to journey down memory lane, Id be sure to visit you

Id visit you not for you, or for me, but for an old friend

An old friend that is always close, closer than our lips when we would kiss, but also farther away than any measuring unit could ever remotely fathom

An old friend, that never left me,that never cheated me, that changed my life forver

I havent seen him in a while, 18 months to be exact, but he says he is well, and that he thanks you

He thanks you for the astronomical amount of pain that you bestowed upon him because through that pain he found something worth more than anything on Earth

Through that pain he found someone who is closer than a brother, more beaten and bruised than a boxer in a title match, and more experienced than the oldest men in the world

You see that old friend of mine is myself, my nieve and innocent self

But he is nearly gone now, and the reason for his weakening condition is from over exposure to this radiation field that we call Life

This radioactive chemical has caused a cancer in him that is surely and slowly, ever so slowly, killing him one bit at a time

But despite all of that, depsite all the pain, all the heartbreak, all the anger...the remaining bit of him wants to thank you

 

 

You see im not someone who likes to think about the past

But if tomorrow i wake up and decide to journey down Memory Lane, id be sure to visit you

And while i visited you i would hope that we could cry and laugh and smile, just like we used to 

We could sit down and ill listen to you on the piano, or perhaps go outside and watch the stars move at unfathomable speeds that seem so fas that they look like they dont even move

Those speeds that the stars experience i too used to experience within myself, within my heart

Because you, you had my heart moving at speeds so fast that it, and time itself, seemed to stop not just for a moment but for an eternity, and i believed that it would never end

And in those moments of complete chaos yet complete stillness, little signals were being sent to my brain saying "Keep this memory, do not let this one go!"

And so i did, i kept those memories because they were all i had left of those growing times, those changing times, they were all i had left of you

And so i continue my journey down the dark and lonesome road of Memory Lane

The dark and lonesome road triggers emotions of depression and sadness, hurting me every single and leaving me banging my fist because of my complete ignorance for once again taking that journey

This is why i sometimes do not like to journey down the dark road of Memory Lane

But the dark and lonesome road is also beautiful and mesmerizing just like your ocean blue eyes that i used to gaze upon for hours on end, without ever blinking because i knew i would regret ever missing a single wave of beauty that constantly bombarded inside of them

But the thing that Memory Lane does most for me is that it teaches me, it reminds me, it changes me like a rainbow changes the gloominess of the sky after a storm

And that is the real reason why i travel down Memory Lane, to be reminded, to be taught, to be changed

 

 

You see im not someone who likes to think about the past

But if tomorrow i wake up and decide to journey down Memory Lane, I'd be sure to visit you, and thank you

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