Me

Location

Let’s get metaphorical here

Let’s really dig down deep

This past year has been glorious

But it also seems like the proverbial shit’s hit the fan

I met my Love, my Honey, my one true Everything

But in meeting him I found it within me to see who I really am

Best friends seemed like enemies, hurting me in the worst ways

I just couldn’t stand it so I said, “Fuck it” and walked away

Authority figures, people you’re taught to trust, shook everything all up

They acted more like teenagers than those I have learned with

Their rumors and cliques culminated a mushroom cloud, blooming from Nagasaki

This stupid behavior, so unexpected, led to my declimaxation of my one true devotion

As I look at this shit, falling in pieces, I come to realization that this shit is me.

I see that what I’ve built up for so long has come crumbling down

But what I need to understand is that those pieces that are falling and crumbling and breaking weren’t strong enough to hold together anymore

I could no longer be a doormat, a punch bag, a cigarette bowl

I could no longer have no feelings because he was making me believe

What’s hard now is not that he’s far away, or anything like that

It’s that even though I’ve been exercising for the past year this thing happens

When I look in the mirror, he see’s beautiful, but all I can see is fat.

I want to be worth what he is to me

I want to give him something special because he brought ME out of me.

I love him and know he hates it when I say these things about myself, I just wish I could somehow display to him this fact

This fact that he is my Everything, the he brought me to who I truly am.

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741