Me?
I remember it as clear as day. The moment that the light that so proudly lit up my eyes had dimmed.
Until it was but a bulb so helplessly flickering waiting for it’s inevitable defeat.
I looked in the mirror.
All I saw was the face of a stranger.
One masked in makeup and skin products,
All things said to make you look beautiful.
Yet all I could see were the imperfections of someone I hardly knew anymore.
I didn’t feel beautiful.
I didn't need a cloth.
The tears that so shamefully ran out of my eyes had wiped my face clean,
And rid me of the mascara I put on to try and cover one of the many things I wanted hidden.
That day was the day where I had lost my innocence.
The day when I realized that makeup can’t cover up my internal pain.
Because you can’t dab on a smile.
You can’t fix what's going on by simply pretending to be someone else and hiding being a mask made of makeup.
So I started only wearing moisturizer.
I didn’t wear the mascara that all my friends were wearing.
I stopped using the eyeliner that would take me an hour to perfect.
And I was just-me.
Not some person trying to act like others to fit into some group I never wanted into the first place.
Because in order to love yourself,
you have to be yourself.