Masks

Mulan once sang of her reflection

And the words wrapped themselves around me

Like a ribbon tripping me at the shin

Not knowing who I could be

 

Gay, trans, lesbian, bi

All these new terms as I enter Middle school

I was so confused and people would make me cry

Letting their words get to me, I was a fool

 

So I held the only friend I had:

A cold, silver blade against my wrist

Numbing my pain and ignoring how sad-

The way my brain was fogged with mist

 

I wore long sleeves, turned down beach trips

Plastered a smile on my face like masquarade

Even when my wrists were full and I moved to my hips

But it wasn't enough to hold this facade

 

I got worse, stopped my fake smiles

The stories I heard of teens killing themselves

Made my heart race for miles

And I stared at the pills on the shelves

 

The night I did it, I'll never forget

I said goodbye to my family before bed

Hugging my mom tightly, my eyes wet

When I took the handful of pills, no tears were shed

 

But then I realized, and it was a shock

I wanted to live and this world i would miss

So I called 911 and they told me to talk

I was so tired, I felt deaths harsh kiss

 

The rest was a blur, but I got better

I was happy, most of my smiles were real

And even when I said "I'm fine." I was sure

My happiness was one thing the darkness wouldn't steal

 

Now I have triggers, but they're alright

I relapse occasionally but I know I'm recovering

For I know my future looks bright

With my education just on my head hovering

 

So now I post this poem to you,

To share my hardships with the world

A scholarship would be nice, too

But helping people makes it worthwhile

Comments

Frankie B.

This is really beautiful, anytime you feel bad you should read this again to remind yourself how talented you are.

thelastweasley

Thank you, I have hard days and write how I felt in stories or poems. I just started to enter them on here recently.

I didn't think it was that great but I reread it and it gave me chills. 

I appreciate the comment, it feels nice someone took the time to read it and replied

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