"Excuse me, is the manager here?
(You should be able to tell by how I'm dressed but..)
I'm following up on a job application..
Hello, my name is [Your name here]
Now Mr/Mrs Manager, I'm going to be realistic here
Now I'd like you to remove yourself from your Title
You are not a manager, you are a human being
Please recognize that I'm a human being
And I need money, now before you call me avaricious
Think how much time you'd personally volunteer without pay
Devote hours on end without a check smiling at you
I need money, to get it I need a job...so be it
These questions are unrealistic and won't help you know me better
All I need is a well-constructed lie to filter all my answers.
My mom needs help paying for bills, she's unsure we can make rent this month
Skip the formalities, I'm just trying to live
A single mother asking for help through her kids
I'll do all that is required of me in this position
We both know full-well that I'm just playing the "Perfect Employee" rendition
Take a look at my graduation photo, you wouldn't be surprised to find that
I'm wearing the same-exact clothes then as I am now
I've plastered on this personality, same with my diction
You've been in this position long enough to know this smile is damn close to fiction
You must be fooling yourself when you ask me "would you make this your career?"
No thanks, I have goals, how much experience do I need exactly for an entry-level position?
"...you'll call me back? OK thanks."