love thyself


mirror, mirror

on the wall

who is the fairest of them all?

perhaps it is the boy who used to pinch me in preschool

thinking hitting girls was what made rugrat boys cool

the boy who threw woodchips at my face

to show he longed for my sweet embrace

holding my hand

or a peck on the cheek in a box of sand

an innocent time indeed

though I do decree

a pint sized pain in the rear is not for me

though I feel maybe there is a chance

my first love was one of deep romance

i was young and naïve with stars in my eyes

still plagued by my personality, mostly shy

he picked me up when I was depressed

and promised me my longstanding mental problems would soon be at rest

he swore he would slay my sadness like a scaled beast

to end my pain and win my heart at the very least

though instead he allowed his deepest desires to show

and a deeper evil began to grow

he spread my legs against my will

purely for the twisted thrill

i vowed if this happened again

i would take great pleasure in castrating him

come to think, maybe the boy who was in my freshman geometry class is the one

i taught him long division, he taught me how to have fun

long drives listening to the front bottoms in the rain

it was not long until the happiness turned to pain

he loved me only if I could stay the same

but growing up was to blame

time moved one, I changed

our love soon became estranged

there was soon another though

with a love he could never truly show

he became a friend and then something more

he was exactly what I was searching for

finally it felt like I could be happy again

but all he could ever be was a simple friend

he desired my body and picked my mind

but wanted more to do with a sixteen year old girl’s behind

my quest for love is not over yet

there are a few more I may soon regret

like the boy who was a basketball star

who told me what all my lovely qualities are

he held my hand and made laugh

but his crazy ex had a greater wrath

she told the star a wild lie

he called me on the phone in a great cry

he told me I have an STD

and he wanted nothing else to do with me

i still look for that wicked lying witch

i’ll be sure to knock the lights out of that bitch

now there was also that boy with the lifted Ford

but it ended quickly, I cut the chord

after I found out my lust is what he wished for

i told him I was no man’s whore

though he is still kind to me

his stupidity is all I will ever see

then there was the boy with one eyebrow

i cannot see why I was with him now

but at the time it did seem wise

because he had the most sparkling soft eyes

but other things were soft as well

and with this realization our love fell

he never could offer me endearment I desired

so naturally, as a boyfriend, he was fired

mirror, mirror

on the wall

you are the fairest of them all

a simple reflection you stand

but despite the heartbreak, you will make it by your own hand

because love is a hard and I do now see

the only love that truly matters, is the one I have for me

boys can be dumb

and our hearts will never be numb

it hurts to feel them break

so know for your own sake

love can be fun

but if you see danger in love, run

because love is for both you and me

but never waste your love on some dummy

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