When my days end

I will still love you

I still hold you in my heart

Even though you gnaw away at it

Without any thought 

Sometimes i feel an unmeasurable feat when i look at you

An unexplained rage when i look at you

Yet never pure hate.

I just wish i never met you

I wish i had a reason to stop loving you in the first place

But you never actually had me

You had a shadow

That would hurt you if i didnt leave

I still think of you

 I wonder if you’re okay

If your blood still flows and your breathing is at bay

Like when i would wake up next to you

Everyday 

I still miss you

I still want you in my ams

I want to feel your softer cheek and hand

But i cannot grasp you

Because i could never grasp myself

And every second i was with you, i refused to look for help.

I would hide from you.

But i never meant to deceive

Eventually, i realized, you were not what i would need.