i sat here alone in this room thinking and my mind in many throughts. why was i feeling this way... i know i still love you but so much has been said and done but i need time to heal. but you wont let me heal your name still appears on my phone screen and the flashback memories of us holding hands and kissing and laughing come across my mind. then i could feel the tears roll down my face. unable to speak and unwilling to feel anything anymore i ignore you in the hope of healing from all this pain i feel knowing that i am not yours ... yet i was never yours to being with. but im trying to so hard to shut the memories away from my mind and focus on whats in front of me, a tiny beautiful girl who resembles me in her physical features and her smile which makes my heart glow with love and everytime she hugs me i could feel her happiness in my arms and i feel better when she is by my side. but fear always feels a way of sneaking up on you, im scared to lose her because she is the only light and happiness in my life and i know that i have to be strong for her even if i am in pain but i know that i will be okay and i know i will heal because she will always be my twin and my one and only sidekick