Love and War

As the blood drips on the floor

I am wondering whether there is a cure

To this feeling that creeps inside of me

Like a ghostly figure on Halloween,

Fighting for my life

Like soldiers fighting for their country,

Intimidated by the lights

And their brightness,

Accustomed to the blackness

That holds me

And the blueness

That keeps choosing me,

Love,

The color of a newly shined apple,

Sometimes it may shine

Sometimes it may not spark at all

When you lose that spark

You lose it all,

Falling hard,

Falling hard

Hard against the concrete

Feeling the pain

As it turns you

From the inside out,

As you begin to doubt yourself

You begin to lose yourself

Losing everything that you have wished for,

Ever since I was four

I have wished for a life that was so much more

I have wished for positivity

For dignity

But all I receive is negativity,

Put in an addition sign

All you receive back is a subtraction sign,

A flash toward the present,

Just when you think

You are making progress

You actually are not,

You are drowning in deep water

And you continue to drown

Until another person finds a boat,

That person being someone

Who you love the most

Who will end up living

In another city

Far away,

Distance,

Distance is like flying

Impossible but possible

At the same time,

Crying and crying

Everytime I think about it

It transforms me to a stone

Unable to move

For fear of what I’ll have to prove,

It is love and war

Something that cannot be solved

Hoping that in the end

That it is able to be solved

And somehow this will all dissolve