this is love.
My voice trembled
as I sat in the chair
warm, soft, inviting
uncomfortable.
To this stranger I had never met
I told on hIM.
hE.
Not much older than me
shut the door
told me to takeoffmyclothes
and mOLESTED me.
over ten years.
silence and aGAIN
silence and aGAIN
please yet aGAIN
silence and aGAIN
waiting fOREVER?
Tell me.
Mommy?
Daddy?
Why do I have to love hIM?
But why?
...
fine.
In this chair
which I sat
the years I took
the time I wavered
in speaking up
doubting
thinking
...But we're family!
No.
It is wrong b e c a u s e hE is family.
waiting...
time.
tears.
and hE is gone.
but. why. am. i. still. lost?
-----
in the time
that i have tried
to heal
on my own
i have realized
healing is hard.
i was warned
that love
a relationship
intimacy
it would be scary.
yet still
when spring came
i could not resist
its allure.
i fell in love.
with a man
who loves me
just the same.
he invigorates me,
cares for me,
dreams of me,
empowers me.
i look at him.
i see my lover.
i see a spouse.
i see my future.
every day
i am aware
of my beating heart
of how lucky i am
to have a guy
who is willing
to help heal me.
this is love.
this is love.
this IS love.
p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 22.0px; font: 16.0px Times; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000}
p.p2 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 19.0px; font: 14.0px Times; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000}
p.p3 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 16.0px; font: 12.0px Times; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000}
p.p4 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 192.0px; line-height: 24.0px; font: 18.0px Times; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000}
p.p5 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 192.0px; line-height: 19.0px; font: 14.0px Arial; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000}
p.p6 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 192.0px; line-height: 22.0px; font: 16.0px Arial; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000}
p.p7 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 192.0px; line-height: 24.0px; font: 18.0px Arial; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000}
p.p8 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 192.0px; line-height: 27.0px; font: 20.0px Times; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000}
p.p9 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 192.0px; line-height: 16.0px; font: 12.0px Times; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000}
p.p10 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 192.0px; line-height: 22.0px; font: 16.0px Times; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000}
p.p11 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 14.0px; font: 12.0px Times; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000}
p.p12 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 14.0px; font: 12.0px Times; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000; min-height: 14.0px}
p.p13 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 23.0px; font: 20.0px Times; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000}
span.s1 {font-kerning: none}
span.s2 {font: 14.0px Arial; font-kerning: none}
span.s3 {font: 12.0px Times; font-kerning: none}
span.s4 {font: 18.0px Times; font-kerning: none}
span.s5 {font: 12.0px Arial; font-kerning: none}
span.s6 {font: 9.0px Arial; font-kerning: none}
span.s7 {text-decoration: underline ; font-kerning: none}
span.s8 {font: 20.0px Arial; font-kerning: none}
span.s9 {font: 8.0px Arial; font-kerning: none}
span.s10 {font: 20.0px Times; font-kerning: none}
span.s11 {font: 16.0px Times; font-kerning: none}
span.s12 {font: 14.0px Times; font-kerning: none}
span.s13 {font: 8.0px Times; font-kerning: none}
span.s14 {font: 9.0px Times; font-kerning: none}