The Loud Whisper

My mind never sleeps,

the voice inside never rests.

I try to ignore it and its gibberish,

worlds jumbled up into an English mess.

It never leaves its constant whisper,

even though the rest of my mind screams,

"Who am I?" "What am I doing?"

I have no idea, but if anything,

I know i'm trying, trying 

to look in others and society,

the answer should be there or

somewhere i'm too blind to see.

I try,

but I find myself more lost than before,

faking who I want to be,

every passing second more unsure

of  who I even began as.

A girl who only had a whisper,

then began to pay attention to the screams

of, "Who am I?" "What am I doing?",

an ongoing theme.

There comes a point where 

the journey is not on a path anymore,

somewhere I don't want to be,

where the screams are too loud to ignore. 

I got lost trying to find who I am

using screams as my guide, 

but when the path was no more,

I realized there was nowhere I can hide.

I was terrified until the whisper became louder saying,

"Why do I need to hide?

Who I am should not be pushed or swept aside.

I am who I am."

The whisper grows louder now

and beats out my screaming mind.

I can hear it clearly,

words I needed this whole time.

"I am who I am", the whisper continues to say,

"I am who I am, no part of me even a single mistake."

"I am who I am"

"I am who I am"

An answer I found

in the quietest of sounds,

phrases much different than the screaming,

not even close to that loud.

Why did I try to look for the answers

when the answer was in me?

It wasn't in others or in society.

but in the place i chose not to see.

The answer was the whisper,

the answer was the whisper,

not the screaming of the words 

that didn't even matter.

What others thought didn't matter.

What society wanted didn't matter.

What matters is that I matter and

I am who I am.

No part a mistake.

That was the whisper I now understand.



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