What are we doing? Wasting time? Buying time to just feed on insecurity. I don't make you glow. You look at me with dull eyes. You bring the days of your old loves and past break ups up not in compression but in feelings, what you lost in words. Are you giving me a chance or keeping door closed only to see you through the mail box slit? I am going to step away. I'm not going to announce it or anything, just slowly take to pavement pushed down steep hill left in neutral in the early of morning. I asked you to trust me, your lips said yes your eyes said no. I thought you had scares from those who had hurt you before but instead they are infected open wounds you self inflict covering with band-aid. I heard a country artist that made me sing along word for word talking my life out to the sounds of the acoustic in the back ground.
Why won't you give me that chance? Why do I have to ask for it? I don't know you like that because you don't want me to know you. Cold enough to give ice cubes frost bite. Your beauty is self observed in self destruct mode, street like road side bombing walking the alleys between high rise buildings. You blow it up and move on, just to scrimmage into dirt and toss around rocks for fun.
Being a great man isn't enough for you. Focus and dedication in ones vision for growth into love and you watch me from a far planting poison in the rose pedals not wanting to involve me into your free time. Treated like a chore or last resort read in three act plays, booed off stage, encore just to continuously yell. Is this the only way I can get a feeling out of you?
I wish you a merry way on your journey, my camel is going to die of dehydration. Your attention is on another that you may not have in front of you yet but you will. I need shade as you burn sand with feet, always feeling tired not wanting to rest only sleep.
So this I say for the last time. Not wanting to look you in the white of the eyes, blocked by the darkness to tears for me will you never cry. You made distance so you could never feel me. You jumped so fast in and out of the water that hair never got wet. I don't want to be another sad song. I won't let that be played on the radio on every station boot legged on the street.
I've lost in many things and my losing streak continues by losing you. I wish you had giving me a chance. I see it in you but I'm no Shaman, my magic is only illusion. Thank you for teaching me and being a chapter that has giving me a rock to grab onto to get to the top of the hill.
I will be a champion one day, maybe not in the ring or the cage but in the life of one who is willing to give me that trilogy fight. Good night to the morning to you, I'll see you on top of the hill in the distance of course. But I know you will make it with your greatness. It's time to focus on yourself, you're not ready for this and I am on time with my heat. I'm ready to run, ready to find. Lost in words yes, but I'll shake the bag and spell another from words with friends, triple points scoring gaining enough points to call it a unanimous win. Sometimes I wish you had listen to your best friend telling you your not for this type of man.
I take a deep breath, lungs open. No walk out song, no crowd or a corner to coach me. I enter the center of blackness fading away colored into what comes what may. A introduction that makes learning from lost, not being a loser or alone about finding who is worth your time and dime you earn in life.
Again it's sad to walk away but you called it quits never giving a full swing at the plate. I moved to fast and consequence wrote a poem abut me. Ain't that a bitch. I pod in ears, hammer in hand let the building commence united I stand.