The loss of a mother's love.

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They say in order to get over something; you have to move past it.

Well, in order to get over what you did to me, I have to face my own set of demons.

To do that, I had to find my strength in numbers

I needed loved ones, support groups, compassion from strangers

But eventually I figured out, life moves on.

 

I could dwell each day on the simple facts.

Number one; I trusted you.

Number two; I was supposed to feel safe around you.

Number three; Thanks to you, the sight of certain men can send me into an emotional degrade.

Number four; You took every ounce of innocence from me.

 

So here I am today, torn apart and emotionally raw.

From the inside out, I just ache, both emotionally and physically.

Now to this day, all I have is one question for you.

Would your mother be proud of the “man” you’ve become?

Would she be proud of the decision that you made that night?

Would she still love you after looking at the fear in my eyes?

Because you know I have a theory.

If she had received a phone call tonight explaining what you did to me that night,

She would drive, and drive, even if it took her all night.

After driving for hours upon hours until she was on your doorstep.

She would pound on your door, boom boom boom boom, until you sleepily answered the door.

And when you looked at her and said “mother?”

She would raise her hand to you, and let her hand sting like fire.

She would spit her words at you like venom.

Tell you how much looking at her own son, made her hate men.

And before she left, she would look you in the eye,

Just to tell you “you’re not my son; you are just a disappointment and waste of a man.”

So let me ask you something,

Was it worth it to rape me?

 

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