Loss

When I lost someone I love

Day 1: I didn't know you had gone. You were on my mind and I was working up the courage to text you. It will happen

Day 2: I will be shocked by your death and I am going to need to be strong

Day 3: It is 6:50 a.m on a Monday morning and I decide to go on Facebook. As I'm scrolling I see something you are tagged in. I read the words and my insides plummet for hell because if you're gone, I don't want to be here. 
I go to school, fighting through the pain and smiling. I can not get you off of my mind so I text you and text you over and over again, hoping you will respond. Waiting to wake up from this nightmare. It doesn't happen. 

Day 4: I'm crying myself to sleep

Day 5: I'm crying myself to sleep

Day 6: I finally told my mom. She asks questions upon questions as usual but it hurts too much. The memories. Accepting the fact that you are gone is something that I won't do today

Day whatever: I just want you back here. If not together, we were going to make it, but why, oh God did you take it?

I go through your pictures over and over again missing you, wishing that I was roadkill too. Cleaning up the blood of your battles, my battles, our battles. I wish I wasn't afraid. Lost and confused, I deserve this abuse. 

Facebook engineers originally wanted to call the "like" button the "awesome" button
"Rest easy Dustie," a girl posts on Facebook
I hit the "awesome" button like I'm glad she's gone

Like everything she meant to me wasn't even worth the dirt on my feet
Like the way the two of us ended was some sort of reward, but man, I was trying to mend it
"Luckily, I get to run from myself even more," I say sarcastically 

No, no but that's all wrong because I am strong
She is gone because time flew by and decided to take her along
You see, their journey is to heaven where she is free, I know, she finally gets to fly
I see now that the time has come and I reckon I will always cry

Peace and comfort hasn't been brought
For many days, I've sought and fought
When the night falls quiet, all that rings is "awesome silence"
Through it all, in my heart, I will have your guidance 

 

This poem is about: 
My family
Guide that inspired this poem: 

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