lonely

I hate my life

I hate you

I hate this house

I tried to kill myself 

I need them

I want to be anywhere but this house

I want to run away

Fuck you

15 ibuprofen

20 melatonin

I want to leave forever 

I can’t stand you

 

I tried to leave without a trace

A sad look on my face

Death is what I’m trying to chase

Nothing left to embrace 

Mind empty,feelings empty,empty space

 

No one really loves me

 

988

Mind on hold

Feelings on hold

Body on hold

Tears on hold

 

MY PROBLEMS ARE REAL

You can't just put them under the night stand to be forgotten 

They need to put on your desk to read through everyday

You need to start working on a plan to help

You can't just run from them 

I failed to deal with them now help me

It's your job to be there for me

So be there

Be there

Be there

BE THERE

Pick up the goddamn phone

 

As I was dragging the blade across my skin

I thought to myself

No ones free unless they make themselves free

Freedom comes from within

Not from a lifestyle

Not from the world

But from your own doing

My blood was now dripping onto to the floor

I felt free

 

I’m not normal 

Normal people don’t fantasize about killing themselves at 10:43 while trying to figure out what ¼ multiplied by 60 is

 

Ambivalent

Should I kill myself or should I live through this hellhole of a life

Hang myself or go down to eat dinner

Cut my wrist and sink into the bathtub or go to sleep

Stab my heart or continue cutting the cucumbers.

 

You don’t know how to help me cause you haven’t gone through this

You think 1 antidepressant a day will cure me

 

Whats the use of living.

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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