"Living Without Dreaming"

I come from the world of idealists and dreamers. Every moment is a step towards safety and stability but every step seems harder than the last, a brief moment of reprieve is replaced with reality. The reality that we cannot escape but only dream of sunlight, of the green grass on TV. I remember a time when my brother and me were fighting and he said “Life isn’t like what you see on TV!” and I believed him, for a while. But that never . I dream hard, in the back of my mind after a moment like with my brother, I still see hope, I see myself coming back and helping my mother and my family, making their dreams come true, becoming the one to make anyone dream come true.

But the thought burns away quickly once I see the obstacles in front of me and I see what I have to accomplish and something ignites in me, I don't know whether it is anger, or my drive to live and see the green grass on the other side of the hill but now I see opportunity, a chance when the old me would see the walls and run away. The old me would hide and find an easier option or a different route or say we don't need it, it won't affect us. In retrospect, it could have helped us and improved me now. I’m mad at myself for not seeing the future, I’m mad at myself for not getting up, standing up and making a name for myself. My life has been, at some points, a mess. I still see the brighter side of things, despite what happens to me.  Hope nudges itself in the back of my mind like a small child wanting attention and I just can’t ignore it.

Amid the chaos of my life, like hope, I found my purpose that was and still is stuck in the back of my mind, Theatre. Theatre gave me perspective on my life through the lives of other people. From producers to star-crossed lovers, theatre has defined my defining traits. My ideals and my dreams have found an outlet, an expression of who I am and who I will be.

It gave me a future. My reality is harsh and cold. Just because of my skin, because of my blackness, I’m funneled into a path of drugs and crime. I will not be funneled like lambs to the slaughter. And I am not alone in this endeavour. Everyday, in my neighborhood, parents send their kids to school with one objective: get out. Get out of the hood, break free of your station in society, break walls if you have to! Never stop pursuing your dreams and never let anyone tell you otherwise. Even if you don’t accept me, I will continue chasing those dreams, no matter how long it takes. I have worked too hard to see my goals and my dreams and my life flushed down the drain just because I’m poor. I have and will overcome all obstacles in my path. If a wall should appear like spreading far and wide, it shall turn to dust in my presence. If those who wish to see me fail attempt to stop me, they shall find that I am no ordinary man. I am me. I will take that first step towards greatness and in my wake, a new wave shall come, the next generation. I may come from the world of idealists and dreamers but I will emerge into the world of movers and shakers, of doers and definers, of dream-makers. I shall overcome.  

This poem is about: 
Me
My family
My community
Poetry Terms Demonstrated: 

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