living ghosts

i will sew myself a dress tonight.
i will stitch it just right
so that it can twist with me
as i spin
getting so dizzy it brings me crashing down.
i will touch the ground
like it could recognize my embrace.
i will love myself
like i know how to love me back.
when my monuments have come to ruin
and the stars i once called beautiful
are now too dim to see
i will know why things are suddenly changing.
someone once told me
that good things never last.
but if you give it time
dust will cover and cloud the memory
until it is too dirty and burdened 
to dare to call perfect again.
if i dig myself a new hole
i can use the vacant soil
to bury what once was
as i keep going down.
so now i know that lovers never stay alive.
we can only know happiness
when we treat ourselves as ghosts
drifting through the frame of one another.
i will lace up my shoes and leave tonight.
i will do my best not to turn my head
because now i know 
there is weakness in apprehension.

This poem is about: 
Me

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