Lift My Head

The screams ringing in my ears
That I know somehow nobody hears.
Painful memories consume me
My blood's rushing through me.
I still dream of the river of tears
My thoughts are my own fears.
Everyday I struggle to sleep
I just lie in bed and weep.
I was raped and tortured,
While my mother was murdered.
It's a feeling nobody should know
It's like running but nowhere to go.
My mind is my own trap.
Its hope, scars, and memories in one wrap.
I haven't smiled in a while;
Too busy muffling my cries.
But I'm afraid to look inside me.
I'm scared what it might be.
But I can't continue to live like this,
Debating day by day to slit my wrist.
I know my mother watches over me,
But I need her here, with me.
I put all my hope in one place,
Where my heart left its empty space.
Then with a slight nod,
I lift my head and looked up to God.

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