I used to detest life. Sometimes I still do. It was deep yet shallow  and still I could not find  my place Above the waves 
 I have tried my best to find my Peace, without sacrificing my  Chaos- impossible.  impossible.  I used to detest my life. Sometimes I still do. I try to remember how I (used to) pull  my hair, cut it, burn it, Chaos.  Yet still lived long enough to Love it still.