My face, a closed mask
My feelings, bottled in
A smile, plastered on my face
No one looks, behind the mask
No one sees, what I am in
I'm angry at the world
But I'm no longer a scared little girl
I like to see red
Blood, it reminds me, so much
Of the horrors of childhood I've faced
But this is related to me, no one else
For others have different reasons
Of being this way
When they ask "How are you?"
I say, "Fine."
People stop asking there
They don't push it
But if I didn't say "Fine."
Do they really want to hear?
The pain I'm in
So much so, I want to end it, all of it?
and so I try, one night, with an easier method I tell myself,
a drug overdose, so easy, just slip the needle up your vein, and you'll be gone
But i didn't know, my best friend was there,
watching over me, and took me to the hospital
I woke up there, they told me
I was only a few minutes from death
It should have knocked me cold, but it didn't
I wanted to die, i screamed it, but he held me down
gave me a quick hug, a long one then, and whispered in my ear
"Don't go, don't leave me alone"
he was my lifeline
now i travel the country
and see the depression in peoples faces
i see it because i experienced it
and i tell them, find a life line, your life line
because dying isn't a solution for a short term problem
it's a solution for a long term one.