Is it really worth it?
Worth the pain?
Pain when you don’t hear me
You should hear me even when I don’t say anything
Worth the unhappiness?
I am never happy because I can’t be
It simply isn’t to be
I try and try and eventually I give up
Worth being misunderstood?
You take my disobedience as being rebellious
When it simply isn’t
I am the same as I always am
This time of year
Of October, November
It’s the same as any other time
At least in my eyes
I know there is a trigger somewhere
That’s why it’s worse during this time
I just have not found it
Worth not being seen?
You don’t truly see me
You don’t see the things I hide
You don’t see what I truly feel
Is life really worth living?
Is it?
Now there’s a question
And it runs through my mind
Day and night
Night and day
Never going away
Like an endless river song
You say you can read me like a book?
Clearly I think you can’t
For you missed my real emotions
Emotions I hide behind the ones you see
My mind has many layers
Ones I express and ones I don’t
I am like a box
One that has many dimensions
Some you can uncover
Some remain hidden
You only see what is on top
You don’t see what is at the bottom
You never know what goes through my mind all day all night
You may never know
For I am one who does not express herself with words
Rarely will I ever.
So I continue to ask myself LIFE IS IT WORTH IT?