Maybe I was blinded by love, or rather what I thought it was. Maybe I expected too much. Maybe it was my fault, or maybe it was yours. Maybe I was counting on so much more, banking on the feelings you told me you had. Maybe it’s the time you held me close and kissed me to hard and looked to deep in my eyes you made me believe what we had wasn’t make believe. Maybe everything was real for a time, but I’m honestly sick of all these God damn maybes, and in the end I’m still waiting for you, just like I always did, to actually let know an honest answer.
OH! There’s something you could have done. You could have let me know.
Let me know ahead of time
Let me know before I got too invested
Let me know before I got involved, too attached and then got my heart smashed. Before I fucking lost sleep over whatever this shit storm of a relationship was.
Let me know every single lie you told. Like when you cried and sobbed into my chest and told me you loved me and cared about me and tried to make all the words just right and sweet
And I’m still waiting for you to let me know which words were actual truths
To let me know why you couldn’t tell me a god damn thing unless there was fireball running through your veins
And it killed me.
Because I knew in the next morning when you woke up and if I asked you “do you remember what we talked about?” you smile that lazy smile that lit up those ocean eyes and it would kill me, knowing that you didn’t remember a fucking thing.
Because that’s what happens right? Even the most important things we forget about? Or they fade into a memory.
And even with all these memories and lies and truths and maybes, im still standing here waiting. Waiting for you to fucking let me know.