I don’t,

I don’t usually pray like this,

But God,

This is easiest for me.

God,

I just need a little clarification,

Some guidance.

For so long I’ve been,

I’ve been struggling with this,

Illusion,

This thought of control,

And of giving it up.

Ultimately,

I know it’s all in Your hands,

And I know that it will all work out,

That You are faithful to those who love You.

But the here,

The now,

It’s so hard for me to let go,

To accept falling without trying to catch myself with other things.

I need to learn to trust You in every situation,

Not just in the end,

Not just when I get myself lost,

But always.

So God,

I,

I guess I’m asking You,

To break me of my need for control.

But God,

With tears in my eyes,

I pray that You be gentle with me.

Because I’m afraid of what losing control could mean.

Letting go of my goals,

My plans,

And giving them to You,

It scares me.

But I don’t want it to.

Because I know that anything you have set up for me to achieve,

To pursue,

To enjoy,

Is so much better than anything I could dream up for myself.

So Lord,

Show me that You are far more brilliant than I,

That You know better and that I just need to be patient.

Lord,

Let me see that I don’t need to have everything organized,

Planned out,

That I don’t need to worry.

Because You’ve got it.

God,

I thank You and I love You,

And I pray that You can help me let go,

So that I can remember,

That You are the One,

That holds it all together.